What the First 30 Days Really Feel Like
At a recent New Resident Social, residents gather to welcome their new neighbors.
When moving from a house, especially a house you’ve lived in for a while, you’re not just leaving a place. You’re leaving everything you know.
While you might be excited for the next chapter—the smaller space with less cleaning and maintenance and more time to do what you’d like—the loss is still real.
Change is difficult. And the longer things have stayed the same, the more challenging any change is. We recognize that the first 30 days after a move will be challenging. Give yourself grace.
Memory Runs Deep
Leaving the comfort of what you know—even if it isn’t working well—is difficult. Not only do your belongings elicit memories of a life well-lived, but your muscles have their own memories that make moving around easier. You can navigate to the bathroom in the dark because it’s a path you’ve tread for many years. Reaching into the cupboard for your favorite coffee cup doesn’t require thought because you’ve done it daily, and your muscles know.
In a new home, none of that muscle memory exists. You’ll find a new place for your favorite things, but remembering where they are might take some time. Moreover, a new home might involve new technology. For example, many communities use key fobs instead of traditional keys. Initially, you’ll find yourself learning a lot!
Not just a Change in Home, a Change of Lifestyle
Importantly, living life in a single-family house is a very different lifestyle from living in a community. In a home, you are a bit of an island unto yourself. In a community, you have people all around you. Your neighbors will want to become your friends. Events and classes throughout the day invite you to join. Mealtime looks different, too. While you are welcome to cook in your apartment, many residents enjoy the shared time dining together—without the prep work or cleanup!
All of these are significant changes to the routines you have established at home. Friendships take time to develop. Not every event you show up for or class you take might be your favorite. A little trial and error might be required to find the right fit.
Smaller Apartment, Bigger Life
While your apartment might be smaller than your current home, your life in a community should be much bigger. That’s the reason you moved! “Your life is going to be enhanced, more meaningful,” Cynthia Bazin, the Community Relations director at Prairie City Landing, promises.
Smiles are all around as Cynthia enjoys an energetic Happy Healthy Hour with residents in the Bistro.
This bigger life can feel overwhelming at first. You’re navigating an entire community—with a lot of options for spending time, enjoying meals, and finding purpose. There is a lot of opportunity before you, but don’t feel like you need to jump in and do it all at once. Take things one day at a time. Try a new class, say hello to a new neighbor, and realize that tomorrow offers another opportunity to explore some more.
A Helping Hand
Jan McLennon, the Resident Services Director, suggests that every new resident consider starting with a few small supports for the first 30 days. “Think of the care team as your transition partner,” Jan suggests. “We want to help create opportunities for success.”
Having someone who can check in daily can help make a big transition easier. They can help break it down into smaller steps. Our Care Partners have a wealth of experience guiding residents, so they are uniquely able to anticipate what will benefit new residents.
To add Support Services for the first 30 days means your meals are covered. It’s comforting to know that you don’t need to worry about groceries, cooking, and dishes, allowing you time to focus on other things.
When everything is new, well-established routines, like taking your medication, might get lost. Having someone else be responsible for sticking to your prescribed medication schedule can be helpful until you can re-establish those routines.
Moreover, Care Partners can help new residents engage in the community. They can discover a resident’s interests and recommend classes or events. And they’ll facilitate the next step by walking a resident from their apartment to the chosen event and making any introductions.
Timothy, our Events and Adventures Assistant, greets John, a resident, in the hallway. Strong relationships are the foundation of an engaged life.
Ambassadors (aka Friends Who Welcome)
Walking into a large dining room for the first time can be terrifying. I don’t think anyone has gotten over the fear of being the new kid at school, wondering where they’d sit in the cafeteria. “The dining room is both the most rewarding and the most intimidating place,” Shirley, the Lead Ambassador at Prairie City Landing, acknowledges.
Shirley welcomes a new resident during a recent New Resident Social.
Dining rooms can seem cliquish to a newcomer, even if they aren’t. Shirley and her team of volunteer ambassadors work with our care partners and dining room servers to ensure everyone feels welcome. If someone walks into the dining room alone, Shirley is quick to greet them and invite them to a table with friends.
Beyond the dining room, ambassadors will check in, help answer questions, and invite new residents to events and activities. They’ve all made the transition, so they know well what the experience is like and enjoy making it smoother for others.
Setting Expectations
It’s important that everyone set reasonable expectations for the first 30 days. There are going to be rough days. New things are going to be challenging. Things won’t likely feel comfortable.
These are great learning experiences. They challenge our brains in ways that are healthy. And to not change, to resist adapting to circumstances, diminishes our lives.
Even people who are looking forward to their new home—the joy of making new friends, the relief of not needing to call the plumber, or the time saved from not worrying about groceries—are making a big transition. It will take some time for it to feel right.
Give yourself grace. Give yourself 30 days. And, if possible, give yourself a little helping hand for those 30 days.
A welcoming destination can make a tough journey worthwhile. Think of moving as that challenging hike you took, the one where you considered turning back a few times before reaching the lake, waterfall, or viewpoint. Just like that hike, the joy of arriving at the beauty of the destination can erase the difficulty of the trip to get there.